When I’m old, I want to be the octogenarian that the Young Turks come to with their crazy new ideas. I don’t want to be the senior professor that the whippersnapper assistant profs avoid. Above all else, I never want to be a lunch tax – I like lunch too much.

Unfortunately, by the time I’m 80 I’ll probably be too befuddled to figure out how to do any of this. So I want to figure it out now, tape it on my office wall, and refer to it when the time is ripe.

So let me put it this way: Not mentioning any names, what are the biggest social mistakes elderly faculty make? What are some simple strategies for them to ingratiate themselves to the next generation? If you’ve got some good advice, I’ll thank you when I’m 80. If I remember!