In the comments, the admirable Scott Alexander responds to my advice to Shy Male Nerds. I reply point-by-point. Scott’s in blockquotes, I’m not.
Even on the purely academic/intellectual level, this [Caplan’s Bubble stategy] is difficult. I have got a bunch of programs that filter the input I get from social media and the news, I’ve blocked all of my friends who reblog the worst stuff, and I still can’t really get away from it.
With all due respect, this is hard to believe. I’ve been a nerd for decades. 95% of my friends are male nerds. My friends tend to be unusually young and single because many of them are my former students. Yet Scott’s pieces on feminist abuse of nerds are virtually my sole exposure to the problem. This isn’t surprising when you look at the data: Feminism is a minority position, even among women.
In any case, Scott, how can you claim you “can’t really get away from it” when you go out of your way to read and critique hostile feminists? Consider this paragraph from “Radicalizing the Romanceless.”
We will now perform an ancient and traditional Slate Star Codex ritual, where I point out something I don’t like about feminism, then everyone tells me in the comments that no feminist would ever do that and it’s a dirty rotten straw man, then I link to two thousand five hundred examples of feminists doing exactly that, then everyone in the comments No-True-Scotsmans me by saying that that doesn’t count and those people aren’t representative of feminists, then I find two thousand five hundred more examples of the most prominent and well-respected feminists around saying exactly the same thing, then my commenters tell me that they don’t count either and the only true feminist lives in the Platonic Realm and expresses herself through patterns of dewdrops on the leaves in autumn and everything she says is unspeakably kind and beautiful and any time I try to make a point about feminism using examples from anyone other than her I am a dirty rotten motivated-arguer trying to weak-man the movement for my personal gain.
This doesn’t sound like it’s written by someone trying to minimize negative interactions with hostile feminists. At all.
My choices are either to abandon my entire friend group, live in a cave, or accept a leaky bubble.
Taken literally, you’re right. Your options are, roughly, to “abandon your entire friend group,” “live in a cave,” or “accept a leaky bubble.” But that’s an odd way to slice your options. I freely admit that my Bubble strategy is never a 100% solution; all Bubbles leak to some degree. Can you admit that a leaky Bubble is far better than no Bubble at all?