When I explain that I’m writing a book called Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, people often ask me, “Well, why aren’t you having any more?” It’s a fair question, but one that one should always hesitate to ask – for at least two reasons.
First, it usually takes two people to create a life. Someone might completely buy my arguments (see here and here for starters), but fail to act on them because his or her spouse is unconvinced.
Second, many couples suffer from infertility. It’s a cause of great silent suffering for millions who long for kids they can’t have. When you ask an individual point-blank, “Why aren’t you having any more kids?,” there is a good chance that you are thoughtlessly twisting the knife.
This doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t talk about the kids they’re having. Far from it; I’m delighted every time I hear that my arguments have created a life. What it means, rather, is that one should follow the rule, “Don’t ask, do tell.” You should avoid asking sensitive personal questions, but there’s every reason to share happy personal information. Such as… another Caplan baby is on the way!
No joke! Starting mid-September, I’ll be expecting another baby, and EconLog readers should be expecting a lot of 2 AM posts.
READER COMMENTS
jurisnaturalist
Feb 21 2009 at 9:10pm
Congratulations!
Todd
Feb 21 2009 at 9:15pm
congrats
Jacob Oost
Feb 21 2009 at 9:48pm
Your boys can swim!
SB7
Feb 21 2009 at 10:31pm
Wonderful! My sincerest congratulations.
(And now I’ll selfishly have something else to distract me at 2.00am.)
HispanicPundit
Feb 21 2009 at 10:40pm
Congrats man! Good news indeed.
My prediction: A girl. 😉
Unit
Feb 21 2009 at 10:47pm
How’s your happiness? Joking aside, congratulations!
Michael Kolczynski
Feb 22 2009 at 12:12am
Congratulations! The world needs one more rabble rouser.
David R. Henderson
Feb 22 2009 at 12:20am
Mazel tov.
Peter St. Onge
Feb 22 2009 at 12:36am
Congratulations!
Troy Camplin
Feb 22 2009 at 2:17am
Congratulations! Another Camplin baby is also on the way. Mid-September due date.
jb
Feb 22 2009 at 8:33am
Excellent! More stimulus on the way (diapers, clothes, furniture, etc)
Also, congrats. Also congrats to Troy Camplin.
Me, I’ve had my three, so I’ve already done my part 🙂
Bill
Feb 22 2009 at 9:09am
Congratulations!
Justin Ross
Feb 22 2009 at 9:10am
Congratulations!
Matt C
Feb 22 2009 at 10:15am
Congratulations to you and your wife.
David R. Henderson
Feb 22 2009 at 10:50am
Dear Bryan,
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING COULD UPSET SOME READERS
One other comment. You wrote the following:
When you ask an individual point-blank, “Why aren’t you having any more kids?,” there is a good chance that you are thoughtlessly twisting the knife.
That’s a good point.
There’s sometimes another side to it, though. Because you’re a thoughtful, gentle person who practices what he preaches, you never asked me why Rena and I have only one kid. But in telling you the painful story of why, I discharged some of the feelings. Similarly, I like it when people ask me how my brother died because when I tell about his suicide, I discharge some of the pain from that awful event 39 years ago.
So it sometimes helps to ask people personal things if you’re really willing to listen. It’s a judgment call.
Your friend,
David
Snark
Feb 22 2009 at 12:57pm
Awesome! The sonogram shows what appears to be a virgin holding a sheaf of wheat.
stanfo
Feb 22 2009 at 3:47pm
A selfish reason for me to want Bryan Caplan to have more kids….
More little Caplans will likely make the world a better place.
Congrats and thank you!
Eric Crampton
Feb 22 2009 at 4:04pm
Congrats! Pic looks like there’s a sole occupant in there this time. Hope Tristan and Aidan don’t think the little one’s too lonely in there.
Scott Wentland
Feb 22 2009 at 5:09pm
Congrats!
Glen
Feb 22 2009 at 7:52pm
“Starting mid-September, I’ll be expecting another baby…”
Okay, if it weren’t for the ultrasound photo with yesterday’s date, I would have taken this phrasing to mean you and your wife had just decided to have another child — and that you expected the conception process to take about 7 months.
Jacob Oost
Feb 22 2009 at 7:54pm
Just think, a little constipated Caplan that can’t make up its mind over the marginal utility it would derive from loading its diaper or continuing to hold it in.
ardyan
Feb 23 2009 at 12:15am
shouldn’t someone who is older and already finished raising kids be the only person to say that its worth having kids? And I know your reasons are the selfish reasons to have kids, but you should really consider what a kid wants, which is impossible to determine, and so in my mind one should never have kids. you may be happy in this life, but what about the risk that the kid is born with a disease or is teased at school or that has to experience their parents die or grows up to be totally depressed? I never want to have kids because there is no way to guarantee your kid will be happy. And if you want a kid, their potential happiness should be a major consideration. Sorry to ruin the party. Did I mention that I also hate kids?
Bill
Feb 23 2009 at 3:01am
Congratulations!
I have to echo what Glen said…until I noticed the ultrasound image.
Just had our first a couple months ago, and lo and behold, he accompanies me on my nocturnal blogging.
Tracy Wilkinson
Feb 23 2009 at 11:27am
congratulations!
SSB Charley
Feb 23 2009 at 5:26pm
Congratulations Bryan. I cosign stanfo’s thoughts. We need more folks like you around.
Comments are closed.